All The Wrong Places
by Hakusho009
Summary: Yugi, a sad drunk as it turns out, is pondering his lot in life when his blurry gaze happens upon another lonely figure: Weevil Underwood. ...Well, two's company, right?


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters. I don't even own this pairing. It was created when some people on the 'Net figured that Syrus from YGO GX looked like the rape-baby offspring of Yugi and Weevil. My friend and I happened to agree so we created this fic. I wrote it and she (thepiratemonkeys) inspired and reviewed it. Its crazy crack and we love it. Hopefully you will too.

* * *

Yugi was horrendously drunk. That had been, of course, Jou's goal all along but the sight was still strange. The small boy (though, really, he was barely a boy anymore) had been dragged to a small, smoky bar in the middle of town by his blonde friend to "have some fun," but Jou seemed to be the only one enjoying this little escapade.

And Jounouchi _was_ enjoying it.

He had been surprised how much alcohol Yugi could actually handle. True, two beers and a tequila shot were hardly a drinking binge but for the light weight's first time it was relatively substantial. He was even conscious, sitting albeit a little wobbly on his stool. However, the novelty soon wore off as Jou watched his bouncy bud turn into a rather sulky drunk. Looked like the blonde would have to find entertainment elsewhere. Luckily, he'd thought ahead.

How Joey had managed to drag Seto Kaiba into a seedy joint like this was anyone's guess, but the brunette's searing blue gaze had been burning a hole in Jou's head since they'd walked in. Although, after a few beers, it wasn't exactly a glare.

Jou grinned and sauntered over to his boyfriend's booth. The night was young (so was he) and the future looked _bright_.

Yugi's thoughts, however, had taken a turn for the self-pitying, and Jou's abandoning him just fueled the fire.

Why did everyone get someone when he got no one? Why was he always the one left alone, smiling forcefully to himself as he wished them well? His Yami was loved by Anzu, Jounouchi had Kaiba, Tristan and Serenity, Ryou and Bakura, Marik and Malik! Even Rebecca, as annoying as her infatuation had been, had fallen for Mokuba and left him feeling more pathetic than ever. Why was he never good enough? Anyone who cared for him at all only liked him for his skill at duel monsters and who was the one who actually won all those duels? Atem! Atem! Atem!! It wasn't fair! Yugi was just a fleshy receptacle for the far superior pharaoh and everyone knew it. It just took Yugi a high blood-alcohol level to see it too. He might as well be dead.

Just then, he saw a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye. He tried to focus on it, his muddled mind sorting the images at a maddeningly slow pace. Eventually the profile of Weevil Underwood came slowly into view.

Wow, small world.

The equally small boy (and, equally, not quite a boy anymore) was sitting in a very isolated corner of the bar darkened by a faulty lamp. He was staring into his tankard like a psychic into a crystal ball, confused and unlikely to get any real answers. It seemed to Yugi that he was very sad looking, sitting all alone like that.

Yugi was all alone too.

The highly drunk teen began to ponder Weevil. What was it like for the strange duelist? After he is defeated, what does he do? Perhaps he came here to drink his failure away. He seemed like the self-punishing type who would. Berating himself as he slipped slowly into a state where he couldn't remember his weakness seemed very in character for the dedicated duelist. Maybe that is what Yugi would do too if he ever lost. Well, he did lose but he never had time to think about it or feel sorry for himself. Usually he's too busy cheering up his friends, dodging crumbling buildings, or wondering if Kaiba really would have died if that attack had gone through…

Yugi took in a shaky breath and sighed heavily. He was very tired of all this saving the world with magical card games garbage. He'd never realized how much he missed playing a game with no real monsters, no magic, and no 5,000-year-old dead rulers body-snatching for a quick match. Maybe he should just quit and go play solitaire. But back to Weevil…

No one seemed to want to approach the bug-master. Even the tables adjacent to his circular booth were vacant, giving him a wide berth, like he had a disease. And maybe he did. It was human nature to crave to be with others so, when confronted with someone alone. Maybe, psychologically, people steer clear, just in case. It would make sense. Yugi looked around, a little clumsily, to see that he too was cut off from the crowds. He looked back at Weevil, over to Jou and Kaiba kissing (though they still looked angry somehow), and back to Weevil. Okay.

He got up, walked over, and plopped himself down.

Weevil looked at him like he was nuts.

"Hey, Weevil," he said, slurring lightly, "How are you lately?"

Weevil was silent for a few moments, puzzled. The only reason he hadn't thrown Yugi bodily from his booth was the already half-empty mug of booze in from of him. Then, he seemed to shrug.

"Oh, fine. And yourself?" he replied, highly sarcastic.

"Completely drunk, but just fine, I think."

"…good then."

Yugi was grinning. Weevil stared.

"Soooo… how's life?" asked the bluette… awkwardly.

"I guess I can't complain," Yugi chirped, smile firmly in place.

"Look," Weevil ground out, fed up, "Why are you here? If you want a rematch just say so. Don't pretend to be my friend."

Yugi made a face.

"I don't wanna duel," he said.

"Then what _do_ you want?"

"I just wanted to be with you."

Weevil's eyes widened. It was obviously an innocent statement, even to his already addled brain, but it still had an effect on him. Yugi's wide purple eyes, kicked puppy expression, and sleepy, drunk demeanor made him even cuter than normal. Weevil blushed but fortunately Yugi was oblivious. The bluette took another swig of beer.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Yugi replied, grin back with a vengeance, "You looked lonely." His expression turned sad again. "I'm lonely."

Weevil scoffed.

"I find that hard to believe," he spat, "What about all those friends of yours, all those speeches about never being alone? Always cheering you on, inspiring you. Seemed happy to me."

"Nooooo…" Yugi moaned, putting his head on the table, "Thssneeee…"

"What?"

Yugi lifted his head.

"Thasstemee!" he moaned again, but still too low to be heard over the twangy, aching-heart song from the bar jukebox.

"What?!"

Yugi sighed in exasperation and scooted himself around the circular booth to settle against Weevil. He leaned up, mouth near Weevil's ear.

"That's. Not. Me. And all my friends care about is that other me. I don't matter."

Weevil didn't believe in magic. He didn't believe in magical puzzles or ancient dead pharaohs' world-saving card game abilities. He had never been exposed to vengeful Egyptian spirits' plots for total world destruction. He did, however, understand fair-weather friends, the kinds that love you 'til you lose.

"Ah," he muttered, slightly disbelieving, "I think I get it."

"No," the third-blonde sighted, "you don't. You can't."

"You think I've never been around people like that?" Weevil growled, "I was rather famous before you knocked me down, you know. I still am." He turned and stared straight into slightly startled violet. "You think I've never been used?"

Yugi cocked his head slightly to the side, puzzled but adorable. Weevil's demeanor softened slightly.

"Sorry, I guess," he muttered, "But I do get it. Don't underestimate me."

It suddenly occurred to Yugi that Weevil was trying to be nice to him. He had invaded the bluette's space, bothered him, and Weevil was still trying to be nice. He was sweet. Yugi's smile heated as he leaned toward the other boy, possibly purposefully or possible due to his compromised balance.

"Weevil, I don't really know what you're saying, but I sure do like your mouth."

Then he kissed him.

* * *

Woot right? Yeah! Review! 


End file.
